Secret Pleasures #8: Internet Quizzes

22 Jul

Oh so addicting.

Internet quizzes can easily eat up an hour of your free time by telling you the answers to the question you already know.  But, even knowing this it’s hard to keep away.

Is it really a question if you know the answer?

There are two basic forms of quizzes: 1) The quizzes that tell you about your inner self. 2) The quizzes that tell you who your are.

Inner Self Quizzes

In 15 question I’ve determined that I am the element Earth.  This means that I’m a nice, kind, and calm person.  Duh.  I could have told you that.  Inner self quizzes tell you the obvious.  The answers are usually predictable and only reinforce your own ego driven ideas.  Plus, it’s easy for them to change on a day to day bases depending on your mood.  Yet, sometimes I like the reminder of how nice, kind, and calm I am.  It’s like your giving yourself an indirect compliment.  And who doesn’t love compliments?

Who are you? Quizzes

I’m happy to admit that I am JC Chasez from N’sync, Storm from X-men, and Sailor Pluto from Sailor Moon.  Who are you? quizzes are simply fun.  Sometimes before I start watching a TV show I take a quiz so I can pay more attention to…me.  Or at least who I’m closest to in personality.  It’s always a good idea to take the quiz before watching a show because frankly quiz writers are stupid.  Their questions are so bluntly obvious that you pretty much alter your results to fit who you think you are.  For example: JC, Storm, and Sailor Pluto are all my favorites from their respective groups/comics.

If you're taking this quiz isn't it kind of obvious? Please people, get a clue!

There are countless quizzes and quiz sites out there but I’ve narrowed it down to what I like.

Where?

Not facebook and myspace (if you still use that retro thing).  Their quizzes are way too short and have almost zero detail and accuracy.  They also ask you a question with usually five possible answers.  What if none of these works?  You end up picking something random, maybe something that seems kinda close.  How accurate can your result be if you haven’t got any good choices?

Ditch facebook or myspace and go for something like quizfarm.  Most of their quizzes are done on a scale from yes to no.  And almost everyone has a neutral for those questions you just don’t give a damn about.

What?

Once again, quiz writers are stupid and make obvious or troublesome questions.  When taking a quiz “My Color” and a questions asks if I like [insert unknown band/song name] I’m not going to waste my time looking it up.  Either I’m going to pick neutral or just stop doing the quiz entirely.  Why couldn’t the author just pick a genre or something.

Who?

Some authors know there stuff and I give them props.  On Digimon quizzes I can tell a hard core fan from a poser in a snap.  However, other authors are stupid and inappropriate.  There’s a whole section of “Would I have sex with you quizzes?”  First off, you’re a loser and probably not getting any if you’re making that quiz and second, um gross!  I don’t want to find something like that in my innocent browsing of quizzes.

Grading.

When grading a quiz I always find percentiles the best because one person/thing can’t fit you exactly.  I’m only 88% earth with 65% air and etc.  That means I might not always be so nice, kind, and calm (I have insulted a lot of people in this post) but I’ve got other things making me more complex.  And let’s face it, while quizzes are fun they can’t pinpoint who a person is.

Sadly, I am not Dr. House. Then again he's a total ass.

When writing this I feel like I’ve almost done an 1000 Things We Hate post because it’s all been so negative, but that’s what makes it a Secret Pleasure.  Doing a super lame activity but enjoying it wouldn’t be something to broadcast to all your friends (Oops, I think I just did that).  But despite all their faults, quizzes and their accompanying ego boosts are a blast.  I know I’ll never stop.

My Secret Pleasure: Getting ego boosts and altering results to seemingly have the perfect personality.

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