Elliott’s Been Rather Mischievous

5 Jul

Alright, I have probably been spending too much time on my profile over at ComicVine updating all of the Ninja Turtles profiles (alright, I’ve only actually tackled 2/4).

On top of that, I’ve found another distraction: Miscellaneous Craigslist posts.

1.) Lost & Found Section

FOUND: Old Man by Point D (North Tacoma)

Hi! I was walking by the park and saw a kindly old man walking nearby muttering to himself. When I approached him, it didn’t seem like he recognized me next to him. I think he has dementia. I took him home with me because I couldn’t imagine what the authorities might do with him. He’s been yelling about applesauce lately. Um… I wouldn’t mind if someone could, you know, take him off my hands.

He’s about 5’6″, skinny, tall, has a full set of white hair, wearing a blue parka when I found him with khaki slacks and white Pro-Keds.
Does this sound familiar? Did you lose track of your great uncle? Please contact me.

RESPONSE: Yeah, within two hours I already got a response.

Ok first and for most  this is I hope a joke   PLEASE PLEASE let this be a joke    if it is it is a good one  I laughed  then I got worried   if this isn’t a joke call 911 right now   he may need meds and you may be charged with kidnapping BUT this sounds like a joke

2.) Items Wanted Section

Urinary Tract Infection – $10 – (My Urinary Tract)

I feel like I’ve been rather healthy lately. This is unfortunate. There is no sympathy in being healthy. So, I’ve decided to get a UTI. It’s really difficult for me to get since I’m a man, so that’s why there’s a cash payoff involved. However, wouldn’t it be just as rewarding to say that you’ve conquered?

Look for Updates at the bottom if there are any more responses.


1.) The Urinary Tract Infection was flagged for removal.  Perhaps, I should have done a catheter…


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