Elliott’s Been Rather Mischievous

5 Jul

Alright, I have probably been spending too much time on my profile over at ComicVine updating all of the Ninja Turtles profiles (alright, I’ve only actually tackled 2/4).

On top of that, I’ve found another distraction: Miscellaneous Craigslist posts.

1.) Lost & Found Section

FOUND: Old Man by Point D (North Tacoma)

Hi! I was walking by the park and saw a kindly old man walking nearby muttering to himself. When I approached him, it didn’t seem like he recognized me next to him. I think he has dementia. I took him home with me because I couldn’t imagine what the authorities might do with him. He’s been yelling about applesauce lately. Um… I wouldn’t mind if someone could, you know, take him off my hands.

He’s about 5’6″, skinny, tall, has a full set of white hair, wearing a blue parka when I found him with khaki slacks and white Pro-Keds.
Does this sound familiar? Did you lose track of your great uncle? Please contact me.

RESPONSE: Yeah, within two hours I already got a response.

Ok first and for most  this is I hope a joke   PLEASE PLEASE let this be a joke    if it is it is a good one  I laughed  then I got worried   if this isn’t a joke call 911 right now   he may need meds and you may be charged with kidnapping BUT this sounds like a joke

2.) Items Wanted Section

Urinary Tract Infection – $10 – (My Urinary Tract)

I feel like I’ve been rather healthy lately. This is unfortunate. There is no sympathy in being healthy. So, I’ve decided to get a UTI. It’s really difficult for me to get since I’m a man, so that’s why there’s a cash payoff involved. However, wouldn’t it be just as rewarding to say that you’ve conquered?

Look for Updates at the bottom if there are any more responses.

UPDATE:

1.) The Urinary Tract Infection was flagged for removal.  Perhaps, I should have done a catheter…

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