Archive | 10:47 PM

Secret Pleasures #5: Not Brushing Teeth Before Bed

13 Jun

First off, I’m not a big fan of brushing my teeth in general.  I, like many other  children, lied to my mommy and daddy when they asked me if I’d brushed my teeth when I was younger.  However, since I was such a good child the guilt would eventually force me out of bed.  But really, what’s exciting about brushing your teeth?

Maybe a cat brushing its teeth is exciting but that's about it.

You stare into the mirror as your face becomes hideous with white foam and sometimes it leaks down your chin.  You can’t really do anything else but stare at yourself.  I’ve tried multitasking but it usually fails.  Brushing your teeth in the shower is okay but I prefer cold water.  Therefore, for two minutes I’m bored shitless.  If it’s at night I’m just thinking about the warm bed awaiting me and hate wasting my time with the repetitive motions.

This guy is super energetic about his teeth. Maybe a little OCD as well.

Don’t misunderstand, I brush my teeth even if I hate wasting my time.  Not brushing your teeth regularly is utterly disgusting.  However, there are some rare nights when not brushing your teeth is worth it.

Imagine this scenario:  You’ve just finished watching a movie on your laptop in bed.  It’s 2:00 in the morning and you’re dead tired.  You’re snuggled underneath your blankets and they’re already warm from your body heat.  Your cat/dog is comfortably placed at your feet.  Besides your laptop, the lights are off and it’s dark.

A sleeping angel quickly becomes a devil if you make her get out of her cozy bed.

If you get out of bed you’ll disturb your cat/dog, the blankets will get cold, and you’ll be shocked awake by the bright lights.  It’s so not worth it!  Sometimes brushing your teeth is just too much of a bother.  Plus, what harm will one night of brushing your teeth do?

So, here’s my opinion: If I regularly brush my teeth and one rare night I’m too exhausted to get out of bed I’m not going to do it.  Maybe I’ll feel a little guilty, but the guilt will quickly wash away as I quickly go to sleep.

My Secret Pleasure: Not being bothered by the mundane when I’m too cozy in my bed to get up