Archive | 9:15 PM

Secret Pleasures #4: Red Light, Green Light

3 Jun

No, this is not the game you played as a child.

Yes, this is like the game you played as a child.

Instead of turning your back to a group of snotty 5 year olds like the Red Light, Green Light you may have played as a child this adult version has you face a group of everyday people and judge.  You judge the people walking by and say “green” (hot / get over here), “yellow” (ok / I’d be fine with you), or “red” (gross / stay away) to a friend.  It’s really not that different from the childhood game.

Maybe not the 'average' walker, but a green light all the way.

Red Light, Green Light needs to be played around a large group of people.  Recently a friend and I walked through her college campus judging guys’ attractiveness on their way to class and even sat outside a Starbucks for some street action.  It was a really good few hours of normal conversation interrupted by a few simple words: “red” “red” “yellow” “red” “yellow” “green”.

I realize that this game is totally objectifying men (it seems like only girls play it) and that’s a totally justified accusation.  I am objectifying men.  However, we all judge others’ attractiveness because it’s our primal instincts to look for a good mate.  I am just sharing this information with my friends and gaging their tastes.

One male friend who doesn’t approve of Red Light, Green Light once said “How would you feel if some guy was rating you?” My answer, I don’t care as long as they’re not yelling it in my face.  Once again, it’s all about primal instincts: we’re all a bunch of oversexed animals.

All red lights. Sorry guys : (

My friends and I have very different tastes but we can agree on the basics.  First, when guys walk they tend to scrunch up their face; a scrunched face is a guarantee to a lower rating.  Conversely, a smile can only help.  There are many guys who quickly went from a red to yellow just because they looked like a happy people.

There are a few other lesser variations of Red Light, Green Light called Yes or No? and  Gross or not?

Yes or No? is almost identical to Red Light, Green Light but it’s easier for people to know what you’re talking about.  Also, saying “yes” or “no” seems way more harsh then just saying playfully “green” or “red.”

Gross or Not? is better for judging all types of people, not just those you might be attracted to.  For example, Gross or Not? is great for observing people at the mall or in line at a movie theater.

In general, Red Light, Green Light is a fun activity in which my friends and I get to check out guys without them any wiser.  If you haven’t played then you’re denying yourself great girl bonding and a horde of laughs.

My Secret Pleasure: Turning checking out guys into a secret game

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