Secret Pleasures #3: Awkward Stares

1 Jun

Others may not be able to easily relate to this secret pleasure, but I love making people feel awkward and uncomfortable.  The easiest way to do this is a stare.

Uncomfortable yet?

There are many steps to having a perfect stare.  First, you’ve got to get that smile under control.  Don’t get me wrong, a sly smile is useful in making others feel uncomfortable, but whatever you do you must stay consistent.  Besides blinking you should keep still.  (I find that blinking actually makes people feel more awkward because they don’t expect it and you appear uncaring about their reaction.)

Second, when someone notices you staring don’t stop.  They’ll probably dart their eyes away quickly but they always come back to you.  If you’re staring at a particularly brave person then they might stare back.  Hold your gaze and relax.  Remaining calm always wins the battle.

Patience is needed. Don't chicken out; keep staring.

And winning the battle is part of what makes staring at people so much fun.  For a least a second you’ve stirred the victim’s senses and get to watch as they become unnerved.  Sometimes they try to make conversation but it’s forced.  Yet, whatever they do it’s amusing.

Maybe I’m a little cruel because I take pleasure in other’s discomfort or because I make them uncomfortable in the first place.  However, I find that staring at someone is a guarantee look at their true personality.  Are they brave and stare back?  Do they avoid all contact? Do they ignore you angrily?  Do they crack a joke?  I know who you are with a simple stare.

What fictional character has mastered the stare? Yes, Edward Cullen. I hate myself for putting something Twilight in a Secret Pleasure post but he's got the stare down.

For those who personally know me, I have mastered a dozen stare styles.  I’m so used to staring that I often to it unconsciously.  So, don’t worry, I’m not always judging you.  In fact, I’m never really judging you.  I’m just making you be my entertainment for the moment; it’s a gesture of affection.

My Secret Pleasure: Finding out your true character with an awkward stare

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4 Responses to “Secret Pleasures #3: Awkward Stares”

  1. kelly sawyer June 25, 2010 at 9:13 PM #

    I’m so glad that I can be your entertainment. So, what does it mean when you wrinkle your lip at me?

    Kelly

  2. MechanisticMoth June 29, 2010 at 5:52 PM #

    RYAN!!! SERRRVE USSS!

  3. Shelby March 3, 2011 at 5:29 PM #

    It’s called evil.

  4. chris February 9, 2012 at 3:54 PM #

    LMFAO, i do that a lot too. Like you, i made it a game to where i stare at the person and the person looks at me and then i look away or do something to make that person think i wasn’t really focusing on them. Then i do it again and after a while they start doing awkward movements and going back and forth for no apparent reason. Then they act like they did it for an actual reason. Then i look at them again and i do that blinking thing…HAHAHA it’s just to funny watch them tremble in their awkwardness.

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