Superhero Job Satisfaction Test

21 May

We here at Mechanistic Moth understand that some jobs don’t come easy.  Sure, we like to criticize those jobs and many of the things in the world, but, every now and then, we like to also extend a helping hand.  So, if you don’t feel like your life as a superhero has been truly fulfilling you, then go ahead and take this quadruply-tested by professionals test to check.

Yes, I understand that this is from that one documentary... but god, look at that bulge.

Please respond to each statement by circling the corresponding number on the 7-point scale.  7 is strongly agree, 1 is strongly disagree, and 4 is neutral.

1.) My job just does not fulfill me with as much zest in my life.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

2.) I feel like I can achieve incredible feats.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

3.) When I wake up in the morning, I no longer have the same shining demeanor.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

4.) I do not feel like I can surmount a showing of immense strength, dynamic speed, cosmic powers, etc.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

5.) I can no longer best my one or two menial weaknesses.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

6.) I am thrilled to face my arch foe for the one thousandth time.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

7.) Putting on my spandex, domino mask, or equivalent, in the morning fills me with glee and pride.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

8.) I am drinking at least 10 cups of coffee to keep me interested in my duties.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

9.) I often find myself staring at my reflection in the mirrors of the giant skyscraper I’m supposed to be saving.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

10.) I am taking normal means of transportation.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

11.) I only shrug my shoulders as another trans-dimensional Reptilian People attack occurs outside my window.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

12.) When I see someone in need, I do not hesitate or think about myself before helping them.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

13.) My sex drive skyrockets the more time I’m in costume.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

14.)  I find myself arguing with my teammates over who gets to give the knockout punch to Dr. Blackdeath or something of the equivalent.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

15.) My arch foe no longer seems as interesting as they used to be.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

16.) I am lonely, but a trip to a metropolis with old friends (from that team up a few years back) on another planet within a parallel world no longer satisfies my need.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

17.) I have been calling into headquarters sick much more recently.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

18.) My powers have been failing me.
1  2  3  4  5  6  7

Does your superhero name no longer satisfy you?  If so, please choose from the lists below (however, you are more than welcome to add some personal flair, these are just suggestions for new names not restrictions) to possibly add more spring to your step.  You can skip a step if it happens to make your name even more enjoyable.  Also, always be aware that adding a simple “The” to your name can really amp up the credibility!

Step 1: Choose zero to two of the options below.  If not satisfied continue to Step 2.

Black – Mystical – Marvelous – Death – Spring – Praying Mantis – Organ – Kettle – Naranja – Psychic – Iron – King – Doctor – Gemmed –  Steam – Rainbow – Tiger – Scrabble – Boob – Cat – Cowl – Personal – Diary – Farm – Depressed – National – Sky – Diamond – Sunset – Waterfall – Jag – Knife – Credible – Treasure – Horse – Pack – Sitcom – Dance – Outdoor – Mesquite – Beard – Anatomy – Surgery – Brick – Switch – Dairy – Bee – Sting – Lever – Laugh – Tortuga – Ninja – Sexy – Bathmat

Step 2: Did step 1 not fully complete your new name even with the addition of a “The?”  Well, perhaps Step 2 can ease some of those worries with some nouns to add to the mix.  Choose zero to two to add on to step 1.  Or, even have one of these be in front of Step 1’s choice!

Man – Mr. – Gent – Boy – Lad – Guy – Woman – Mrs. – Miss – Girl – Lass – Gal – Thing – Gender-neutral Person – Person – Identifiable Object – Object – Noun

Do you feel a little bit better?
Nevertheless, please attach your numbered response to the first section along with your new name in the comments section.  I can then tally up your score and let you know whether or not your super heroics are really fulfilling your job satisfaction.

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4 Responses to “Superhero Job Satisfaction Test”

  1. xanpluto May 22, 2010 at 11:47 AM #

    1. 5
    2. 4
    3. 1 (I always have a shiny demeanor)
    4. 6
    5. 4
    6. 4
    7. 5
    8. 2
    9. 7
    10. 7
    11. 4
    12. 6
    13. 4
    14. 4
    15. 4
    16. 4
    17. 5
    18. 1

    Miss Mystical.

    • MechanisticMoth May 22, 2010 at 9:47 PM #

      Miss Mystical, Your Grand Score is: 71.

      Therefore you fall into range 2:
      Your job is getting a little repetitious and may need a little spice, but it still satisfies.

  2. Beverly Gayle May 22, 2010 at 7:25 PM #

    1.) 7

    2.) 7

    3.) 3

    4.) 1

    5.) 4

    6.) 3

    7.) 7

    8.) 7 (Replace coffee with tea)

    9.) 7 (Heavy sigh)

    10.) 7

    11.) 1 (Slight eyebrow-raise)

    12.) 7

    13.) 7

    14.) 4 (Sharing is caring)

    15.) 7

    16.) 7

    17.) 4

    18.) 6

    Black Iron, The Girl Kettle

    • MechanisticMoth May 22, 2010 at 9:50 PM #

      Black Iron, The Girl Kettle,
      You also came in at range 2 with 80 points. Be warned, however, you are a superhero of polar opposites and may find yourself loving your job one day and hating it the next. This can become dangerous (particularly for civilians).

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