1000 Things We Hate #56: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Crying

17 May

I have to begin with a bit of a preface:

I do not hate Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  As a whole, it’s a very pleasant and lovely thing they do to underprivileged families.  Sure, it can be a little ridiculous at times (particularly in the newer seasons where they continually try to outdo themselves) when they build a multi-story house, provide state of the art equipment (some electronics that have yet to hit the market), pay for the kids’ college tuition, playground, no more mortgage, paying for a vacation, etc.  It can go on and on and be ridiculous.

EM:HE - Providing wonderful services.

Here are the two main things that annoy the fuck out of me: Ty Pennington (do not be surprised if there’s a whole future post about him) and how fucking easy the show can get you to cry.

Here it comes

Throughout the entire show, excluding the beginning and end, you can be completely indignant and not care about what the fuck happens.  But the beginning hooks you just enough to stay around for the kicker at the end.  When those goddamn lines of “MOVE THAT BUS!” echo with 800 people yelling it (but you mostly hear the family cuz they’re miked), you know that you’re done for.

The tears start filling up in your eyelids.  This shit would make Osama Bin Laden cry, without an American-hatin’ doubt.

They seriously should use this in prisons to bring out the (gender role’d) feminine side of prisoners who are hardcore hoods.

The interior reveal... goddamn it's about to get nasty

I guess what I’m truly upset at is myself.  There, I said it.

I hate that I am so easily warped into being so concerned about a needy family for 15 minutes and, while watching, I know I’m probably never going to think about this family ever again.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do my loose share of volunteering here and there.  So, I’m not guilty about that.

EM: HE twists my voyeuristic gaze and turns it against me to the point that, by the time they get to the master bedroom, I have turned into Niagra Falls.

Now, EM: HE has created an interesting phenomenon (granted, it may just be all “feel good” reality television shows), it’s the “everyone looks around to see who else is crying as you all try to frantically dry your eyes and make them less red” phenomenon.  I’ve heard it’s rather pervasive in middle class families.

Thanks you guys... thanks...

So there you go Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I hate you because, for someone who has so much hate inside of him, you have managed to make me feel something;  fucking around with me in the process.


2 Responses to “1000 Things We Hate #56: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Crying”

  1. Calcifer May 17, 2010 at 7:06 PM #

    I’m not gonna lie, I found this a little adorable.

  2. xanpluto May 20, 2010 at 11:59 AM #

    Couldn’t agree more. I love the show but hate crying so much.

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