Wait… what happened? New comics…

18 Apr

I just spent a considerable amount of thought power writing my review of Kick-Ass, and now I just feel like bitching about something.  What better way to get my need for bitching about something than the slew of goddamn awful comics that came out in the last two weeks!?

Brightest Day #0:

Wow… I’m pretty sure DC just lost me as a customer of Brightest Day (excluding the first issue to get the last promotional ring) with this trite shit.  Honestly, I felt like I was looking at the solicitations for the next three months in comic form.  This was purely a promotional stunt and it made me feel pretty fucked over, honestly.

First up, the art is mediocre.  I can’t completely blame this on Fernando Pasarin because he also happened to have six (SIX!!!!) inkers on his work.  Way to piss all over making the art look continuous and flowing.  Nevertheless, Pasarin still had pretty bad facial expressions and ruined the refreshing portrayal of Mera (along with the writers… which is a little weird since Johns penned both) by Ivan Reis in Blackest Night.

Despite not actually knowing why Deadman’s still wearing his costume but just wearing a trench coat to cover it, the first 6 pages of the comic are the best because I like slow pacing to comics… and birds… Anyway, it’s all downhill from there as we cut instantly to the typical “hot naked woman waking up from bed to find that the husband is gone and she goes out to find him for some more nookie” scene.  How many times have I seen this?  Oh, I don’t know, somewhere up there in the couple hundreds.  Mera is no longer the strong, badass character, and now she relies fully on the man in the relationship.  She has gone from D-line to A/B-line back to about roughly C-line.  Seriously, covering up her naked, smiling body with bubbles as she dives into the ocean and still somehow manages to have an extraordinary amount of cleavage!? How the fuck is that possible?

A couple of not interesting things, then Maxwell Lord’s thing which was actually pretty badass.  Then we go to mars and see basically the most times J’onn J’onzz has ever smiled in about 4 pages.  Some more shit.  Some shitty shit.

THEN STAR CITY’S DESTRUCTION BEING IN THE SHAPE OF A STAR AND TURNING INTO A FUCKING FOREST.  Fucking dumb.  Fuck!  Ooh, and some even more Sinestro on top of that.  Then some more T & A and posed pictures for little boys to jack off to in the previews section.

Honestly, this hurt really bad.

I like how Boston Brand is the main character.  I don’t like how out of 3600 sectors the only ones revived were from 2814 (earth, basically) after so much death in Blackest Night.  I don’t like what’s happening.  Blackest Night was decent.  This is shit.

Invincible Returns:

How about we call this: A bunch of reasons why Invincible shouldn’t kill any more and why Cecil is a manipulating bastard and Atom Eve is still pregnant (surprise!) and let’s change back into an older costume!

Invincible is usually fairly reliable to land in the 3-5 star range, but this little reason gathering before Invincible enters the long-awaited Viltrumite War with a really bad recap back up was pretty damn awful.  There was just soooooo much text, and the action sequence thrown in was completely stilted and awkward.  There really was no furthering of the plot here and it just gave us more of what we already knew as regular readers.  In that sense, this would probably be considered a jumping on point for the series.  However, I would definitely not start reading Invincible based after this book.  It’s terrible and pretty, “hey, remember how awesome that was!?… well, something else awesome and surprising is going to happen… buy our book!”

Egh.  At least it had better, more original art than Brightest Day.

The Flash #1:

I bought this so I could get the Flash Ring which actually fit way better than any of the Corps rings.  Anyway, I won’t be being the second issue.  This comic, along with Flash Rebirth, still does not make a very convincing argument for the need to bring Barry Allen back.  Nevertheless, I’ve accepted the fact and moved on.  The problem with this issue is that the writing is really, really, really fucking bad.  I think Geoff Johns was probably sleeping and his drool wrote out this and he decided it would be great and thanks drool.  The only thing holding this issue up is Francis Manapul’s art.  Even then, though, I have some problems.  All of his faces sort of look the same after awhile unless they’re a main, main character or are of a different age range.  I like the clean, refreshing, and younger appeal of the new Barry Allen and what not, but there are some problems.  Nevertheless, Manapul brings a light to this comic that is missing in the writing and really knows how to portray speed in an interesting way.  I’m quite a big fan of the single page spread directly before the silent pacing page then the 2 page reveal of time-travel.  He’s running through traffic and has to jump up in order to miss getting hit by a car and I love his facial expression afterward.  It’s a really well designed page.

What really made me upset, though?  It was the two page teaser for next year’s Flash-event that Geoff Johns and Andy Kubert are doing.  Frankly, it looks really dumb, and the only reason I might read it is because of the White Lantern involved.  Otherwise, it just looks like a time-travel clusterfuck and nothing really fresh or new.

Batgirl #9:

A decent set-up issue for another storyline with good work on writing and pencilling duties.  Some really good work on characterization.  Nothing special, though, and that was my main problem with it.  Once again, Barbara Gordon’s hair as the strange capacity to change length and style on a whim.  They are creating a nice niche for Stephanie in Gotham that I’m appreciating.  However, a flood?  Hasn’t Gotham had enough natural disasters?  Why are people still living there?

Red Robin #11:

You know? Ra’s Al Ghul is such a badass.  This comic continues Ra’s targeting everyone who ever mattered to Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne to get back at Tim for his betrayal.  Things continue to build in this issue (I actually thought this was the conclusion to the storyline, but I’m actually pretty glad for another issue) and my only problems were some coloring errors and Vicki Vale somehow being able to take out some League of Assassin trained ninjas.  So, some uncharacteristic things.  I enjoyed the quick face off between Tim and Damien which was lovely illustration.  Once again, torture comes up as an issue in this one, and it’s very interesting.  I really believe Marcus To is going to be great and I’m glad he’s on this book.  Like Batgirl, though, nothing extraordinary.  The comic is still a little messy, but with some cleaning up on both sides of the spectrum, it really could be great.

Batman and Robin #11:

I couldn’t find the awful Frank Quitely cover that the main comic was printed with because it’s bad.  You know? I’m glad this comic is only $2.99.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t buy it.  Morrison does provide a strong amount of twists and turns in this comic, but a dollar more just wouldn’t be worth it.  I really enjoy Andy Clarke’s visual style because it’s so distinctive within comics (despite it resembling a modern take on the many block prints of the early 20th and late 19th century).  Nevertheless, I really don’t like his design of Talia Al Ghul.  Morrison’s brief description countering claims of the even more expansive cavework underneath the mansion after the earthquake a couple years before is a little frustrating.  Well, his work with batman is a little frustrating.  Yet, he somehow manages to make it entertaining.  So, kudos for that.

Nothing extraordinary… and a lot of bad… and I need to go and eat.

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