Graphic Journal: April 11th

11 Apr

And he said that I said that she said that we all said “god bless you.”  In a moment when the realization hit me, coming oozing out of his mouth, I thought I met that god.  I met that god inside every serene moment of acute fever when my eyes were crusted over from simultaneous crying and cleansing.  I met that god outside on the porch when people were entering back into the house once they were done smoking their cigarettes in the small space between the railing and the neighbor’s fence; could a mouse fit down? I met that god when we were pretending to be sharks catching guppies on the beach on a family vacation.  I met that god when I boarded up the windows.  I met that god when the storm hit.  I met that god in every cover band.

But what was that?  Who could have decided between this or that?  I took two steps and the inside of my ears flared like firecrackers put inside two liter bottles.  Looking down I noticed that I hadn’t gone too far.  The rain was coming down, sure; the leaves fell, sure; the lamps lit, sure.

I glanced back at his lips telling me the occurrences within the game of phone tag.  His lips were like crescent moons without the pock marks.  His left hand twitched when he talked.  We were always lost when we came upon a freshly slaughtered stump.  The damage had already been done, why continue it?  Little boys with their magnifying glasses searching for bugs to burn in the fading sunlight like charcoal on the stove.

Postponing the deadline of when we’d finally be together;  postponing the lifeline of the husks;  postponing a single kiss.  Him and me.  Him and I action.  Him and I.

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