So, I had a very amusing/frustrating/ridiculous event happen to me yesterday; for the first time in my whole life I was slapped on the face.
To tell you the truth, that was my goal… I needed to prove to this person that I was right and that I won by having her make herself look like a fool through the action.
Ultimately, there was a lot of tension between the two of us. The first off-putting thing was her never introducing herself to me and my friends not introducing her either. She was like a ghost in the background. From the beginning, I could tell that I wouldn’t like her, but I still gave her her chances by asking her questions and taking her suggestions (I was taking wedding announcement photos for our respective friends).
However, she was not as accepting as I was towards someone who instantly turns them off. I’ll admit that I can be somewhat hard to be around for someone who lives a sheltered, seemingly pristine life because I swear (a lot), am outspoken, and say what I think (because I have no built in censor). She, on the other hand, could not get around the swearing to get to know the real me.
Now, I know I was turning my friends off a bit because of all the swearing (I had a busy day and I was tired), but they just shrugged it off because they realize that that’s who I am. She could not get past it, however.
I can’t give you the exact explanation as to why I was such a turn off for her because she never really gave much reasons for her dissaproval. I can only assume that she does not like hearing swear words or crude actions because of her Christian beliefs and self-doubt.
I believe that, with everyone, you should give people chances even if you don’t believe the same things they do or they’re different or they just aren’t the person you’d hang out with. However, I believe that you must do that while staying true to yourself and who you are. I’m quite upfront with who I am, and I want other’s to be that way, too… then, we’ll all find a middle ground of respect and get past our prejudices to create meaningful relationships.
She did not only respect me, but she also did not remain true to herself. If I so offended her she could have politely asked me to tone it down, and I would have been more than happy to oblige. However, she did not ask me this, and her response to her building emotions was to throw her ice tea at me while I was taking pictures of our respective friends with a $1200 camera.
I wasn’t really angry at first when this happened. To tell you the truth, I was more concerned with my camera. Afterwards, I was bewildered because I did not understand why someone would be so violent and foolish towards me when they could have easily used words to defuse their problems with me.
Also, after a few minutes, I became pissed. From that point on, I decided to exploit their prejudice and anger to make her look like the hypocritical fool that she is. So, I amped up my game with a lot more “fuck”s and “shit”s and what have you.
The kicker was when Megan called me during the middle of this building tension, and after I got off the phone she said, “YOU, have a girlfriend!? I would have never expected that!” Now, that’s just treading on dangerous territory. You can ask Megan on how great and loving of a boyfriend I am because she respects me and my opinions. Instantly her comments illicited a “fuck you!” from me. The three of them thought it was funny because I said it with sarcastic anger, but I was truly angry.
Finally, on my way to leave she came up to me and said, “I’ve always wanted to do this in my life…” Yep, I knew what was coming. I didn’t move, I didn’t flinch, I just let her hand slap against my face because she was the one looking like a fool and I was the one standing up for who I am and what I believed in while accepting her aggression. I simply turned after saying some choice words… like calling her a “cold bitch” and left.
Yes, I antagonized her so I brought it upon myself and I am also guilty in this matter of heightening the situation. However, I do not believe I’m guilty of making up my mind about someone after instantly meeting them without giving them any chances like she was.
Later, my suspicions were confirmed that this was the friend that I had found out recently had been raped. I don’t believe it was recent and I don’t know any of the details, but obviously she still has some issues with it. I had a friend who was raped when I was heading for 8th grade, and I understand that it’s the type of trauma that’s incredibly difficult to overcome.
I just find it hard that she has to release her aggression on me – someone she only met an hour or so before – that’s really towards the guy. Not all men are bad, but there’s a handful that do make a really bad name for the gender. I’m a full blown advocate for women’s rights and protection issues… and yet, she didn’t take the time to find that out because she only read the surface of my personality and being in her blind anger.
I suppose that this event just confirms that there are people out there (probably way more than you’d expect) who hold prejudices towards others for some reason or another without much reason (for the individual), and they don’t take the time or the opportunity to discover other people’s personality and beliefs.