Super HeroiHOT #2: Sue Storm

5 May

 – Here we are again with one of the most intelligent characters in all of the Marvel Universe who just also happens to be one of the hottest Moms: Sue Storm AKA The Invisible Woman!  I figured I’d go for a Marvel just to prove that I can sort of be fair/Sue’s one of the few women in the Marvel Universe I’ve actually read to feel like doing a decent job at rating her attractiveness.  I mean, I really just can’t do all of the women in Batman… can I? 

Appearance:

 – Yeah, Okay… this picture’s from the Ultimate Marvel Universe and not the 616, and Sue’s actually only 18 in this picture, but boy is she attractive!  Sometimes she’s kind of drawn with a weird face, though.  Also, she’s at the whims of many artists who like to depict her as a super hot MILF which kinda goes beyond me.  Nevertheless, Sue’s costume almost always is completely covering her body which is sort of modest despite it being skin tight.  The costume seriously looks sleek and clean, and always stylish.  Her costume kind of looks like you could melt butter on it… lots of butter.  You know that fascination that kids have watching rain crawl down windows… yeah, I would like to apply that to her costume.

APPEARANCE: 9/10

Personality:

 – Okay, Sue was sort of a pushover in the early years… a SUPER pushover.  I mean, talk about having no power despite your given super powers.  However, Sue’s graduated from Invisible Girl to the Invisible Woman, and now has grown up with it.  She’s the emotional foundation of the Fantastic Four (which, in itself, is a bit of a stereotype of women…) and everyone’s great moral system.  She’s shown to be caring but tough.  However, I think she kind of lacks dynamics… sure, she has the whole mother thing while still being part of this core team, but I just don’t find her that interesting sometimes… Plus, if she’s not that interesting, she might be a bit shy… So, at the dinner table you could ask “hey, how’d you do playing tennis” and she’ll be so embarrassed about how poorly she did she’ll just disappear… that would kind of piss me off.  Yeah, okay, I’m realizing that she’s pretty bland.

PERSONALITY: 6/10

Superpowers:

 – Wow, that picture really shows off her bod!  I often find myself thinking about how crazy Sue and Reed’s “relationships” in… well, their sexing… can be.  She can project psionically (whatever the hell that means) objects or forcefields or ways/excuses for her to fly… Oh yeah… SHE CAN TURN INVISIBLE.  Then again, I really am just jealous.  I think the dream of being invisible happens at least once in every perverted boy’s puberty-period.  So, why does she get it!? Huh?  Okay, yeah, it’s kind of cool (except… Hmm, yeah, the part in the first movie which was dumb with Jessica Alba on the bridge in her underwear… yeah, dumb), but I feel like it doesn’t serve too much purpose within their stories.  Invisibility is something that’s more for a seedier story that needs secrecy… not for a character who’s public and private identity is known for the whole world.  I mean, Batman taught himself stealth and secrecy and exploits his enemy with it… Sue just sort of turns invisible so people can’t hit her.  Still, I have to give it a bit of a higher score just because my inner child has been so jealous all of these years.

SUPERPOWERS: 7/10

Secret Identity:

 – Okay, Sue’s secret identity is known to the entire world because the Fantastic Four have been public ever since they got their powers in that whole space ship ordeal-thing.  I guess I can focus on her home life, then.  The FF live in this giant, state-of-the-art facility that’s super protected, and Sue spends her time balanced between the team and her children.  She tries to be a normal (as shown by the picture above), ugly-dressing, bland housewife who could just happen to play a practical joke on her kids by disappearing on them when they were breast feeding (yeah, okay that was awhile ago).  She’s a great mother and truly cares about what’s best for her kids, but this kind of falls into the same category as her personality… it’s a little bland.

HOME LIFE/SECRET IDENTITY: 6/10

CONS:
 – Sue Storm is MARRIED.  Yeah, sure, Reed has died once and they had this whole tenuous sort of break up because of political differences during the civil war that gave comic book geeks hope (if the characters could actually be real), but she’s married!
 – She has two kids.  I love kids, but if I got to wish one of my favorite female comic characters to life… it would not be one with kids.  I would probably wish my current girlfriend to have a comic of her own where she kicks ass and seduces me all of the time!  Yeah!

That’s a -2 making Sue’s final score:

26/40
She gets a passing score of 65% because I like to look at her, but I’d hate to have to talk to her.

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