Secret Pleasures #22: Dolls

I pride myself on being a pretty tough person.  And nothing can discredit my toughness.  Not even my love for dolls.

Yes, DOLLS!

My inspiration for this post comes from a lovely trip to the Disney store where my friends and I fell in love with the Disney Animator’s Collection Dolls.

They are just so damn cute!  As a lover of all things Disney (except the corruption within the business and the fact that they’re taking over the world) I couldn’t help but fall in love.  My friends and I just stared at the dolls analyzing their expressions.

We’ve been doing a lot of ranting lately about which princess fits our personality (I’m Tiana, of course).  We wanted to buy our doll!

Dolls are pretty awesome.  Fun to play with and yet so beautiful inside a box.  Few little girls can claim they’ve never owned a Barbie. But, not all dolls are created equal.  Um, anyone remember Bratz?  They were encouraging children to become prissy shop-o-holic sluts.  Their movies were awful, too.  (I did not watch these of my own accord – babysitting)

Nonetheless, dolls are important because they require imagination and creativity.  They’re perfect for children (girls and boys: C’mon action figures are dolls, too).  Thus, my secret pleasure is…imagination.

 

***Side note: ever hear about the X-men debate? Marvel’s toy company tried to convince the US government that X-men characters were toys not dolls (aka: they weren’t human) so that they didn’t have to pay as much import tax.  It’s pretty screwed up.

“Studying” in New Zealand

New Zealand.  Home to hobbits, kiwis, and HBO’s Flight of the Concords.  Just looking at their calendar will have you pining for a vacation, and I was self loving enough to indulge in that vacation.  There was a façade that I would be studying for five months but that is hardly the truth.

Even the clouds are prettier there.

When people ask me about New Zealand I describe it as a painting.  Almost every place you go the landscape is unbelievably gorgeous.  I’ve looked out at miles of endless hills and thought, “This can’t be real.”  When I look at my pictures I wonder if someone sneaked onto my computer and photoshopped them.  It’s truly breathtaking and sometimes even I can’t believe it.

More specifically I think New Zealand is a surrealist painting.  Not only is the landscape “unreal” but so is everything else.  Let’s be honest here, and I hope I don’t offend any kiwis, New Zealand doesn’t exactly hold any major international importance.  They’re a peaceful, tree-hugging, and sheep shearing bunch of folks.  I’ve looked at plenty of maps where the makers forget to add the islands at all. Therefore, when I was in New Zealand it felt like a break from the harsh reality and constant worries I feel in the US.  My world was completely tweaked – in a good way.

Even parliament seemed like the wacky imagination of an artist.  Who would have thought that grown men and women would behave like a bunch of kindergardeners fighting over the last cookie.  There was even name calling, forced apologies, and threats to remove the politicians from the building.  In the end, I can’t really take New Zealand seriously but living in a painting is a great experience especially when studying abroad.

The lack of reality in New Zealand let me ease up on my usual tenaciousness.  I consistently got more than five hours of sleep every night of the week; that hasn’t happened to me for the last three years.  I was almost always relaxed and planning my next adventure.

This trip holds a hilarious story, but Rayce had forbidden me to tell it...he'll change his mind in 20 years.

Through my studying abroad program I went wine tasting (twice!), ATVing, white water rafting, ate tons of great food, and went to a Maori meeting house.  With other friends I went canoeing for three days straight barely seeing a dozen people total; it was a true scene out of Lord of the Rings or Jurassic Park.  I rented cars and drove across the islands.  I saw wild and rare penguins while kayaking.  I went on four hour tramps (hikes) and slept in tiny huts.  I saw the gaseous Milky Way Galaxy from a totally different perspective.  I got a sore fanny from biking around a lake.

Most memorable of all, I got a flat tire and had to wait nearly five hours for rescue.  But, with a good friend at my side and the car conveniently breaking down next to a lake with a picnic table, I have no complaints.

This is the lake where our car broke down. It's also the place where I got attacked by several angry birds.

I admit studying abroad didn’t consist of a whole lot of academic studying; it also set me a little behind towards my biochemistry major (Yay science!).  However, what I got from New Zealand was a whole new perspective about life.  Before going to New Zealand I had never once thought of myself as patriotic.  Now, due to simply living abroad and taking an International Politics class I’m actually proud to be an American.

My suggestion for those of you considering studying abroad is just do it!  It may not be for those stubborn students who are completely stuck in their ways and hate change, but for the majority of people it will be a major turning point in your life.  Go into a new country with a sense of adventure and openness to other cultures…oh, and don’t forget to have fun!

This entry was originally written for my friend Rayce’s new blog called Found in Translation.  You should go check it out!

1000 Things We Hate #215: Dirty Glasses

Preview a new 1000 Things We Hate post – Dirty Glasses!

Less than half of you readers will be able to relate to this, but that doesn’t matter.  Those who have glasses have more than enough hate to cover the entire world population.   Dirty glasses suck.

Maybe the Chinese will come up with a solution.

Perhaps you, the glasses wearers, are super obsessive or paranoid like me.  Obsessive because I always have to have clean glasses.  Paranoid because I’m always afraid of eye gunk and wipe my eyes causing glass smudges.  The combination is a vicious cycle between beauty and vision.  However, even if I stopped wiping my eyes I’d still have dirty glasses.  Why?

To view the whole post, jump on over to 1000 Things We Hate and read about Dirty Glasses!

Secret Pleasures #21: Pottermore

Maybe this isn’t a secret pleasure.  In fact, I’ll freely admit I love Harry Potter with every fiber of my being.  However, this post does have the hidden, creepy obsession as the previous posts in this series therefore I deem it appropriate.

What is Pottermore…….does it matter?  It’s about Harry Potter and created by JK Rowling so who the frick cares about anything else: it will be awesome!

However, we have been given some information about it.  It’ll be used to sell e-books and audiobooks (duh, money) but is also some type of interactive HP world in which JK will reveal side story lines and etc.   To all dedicated HP fans who thought their childhoods ended with the last film this means that HP will live on!  Your lives are not over!

Now that I’ve explained HP I must also tell my obsessive, childish reaction to it within the last 12 hours.  First, I was pissed.  Suddenly, status updates on Facebook were filled with HP and Pottermore and I realized I had missed the first two launch days.  To be truthful, I wasn’t expecting it to happen for another month or so (I sadly have been too immersed in the muggle world lately) and was freaking out.  “Oh no, oh shit, OMG, I need my HP!”

So, I knew that I had to prove myself as a super fan and get one of the coveted million early accounts on Pottermore tonight!  This meant lots of refreshing.

I knew it’d be appearing around 9-11 pm my time so keep hitting refresh to find the magic quill challenge!  Finally, it appeared and my heart started racing.  The question was “In the Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match, in Harry’s third year, how many points is Gryffindor leading by before Harry catches the Golden Snitch? Multiply this number by 35.”  I started googling.

From below me I hear my flatmate yell, “Lillian, did you see it?”  I yelled back, “Yes! I don’t have the answer yet?”

Then she yelled what I thought was 2400 but it wasn’t working and I was freaking out even more.  I ran down the flight of stairs to ask her again.  She said 2100.  I ran upstairs.  I got to some site where I had to make a feather levitate, it wasn’t working!  I was yelling at her that I couldn’t get it!  She ran up the stairs but couldn’t get it either.  We ran down the stairs to her computer.  Success.

I entered all my information in a blur.  I don’t remember much of it.  The final message they give you is: check your email for confirmation.  I run upstairs to my computer.  It wasn’t there.  My heart is beating so fast that I can hardly breath.  Where is my email?!  In panic I run down to my flatmate’s room.  She just got her confirmation e-mail!  Where was mine?!

I run upstairs to my computer and managed to get the feather to levitate.  I sign up for another account with a different e-mail address.  Now, I’m frantically refreshing both emails.  Neither has come.

I hear from a friend that it took her 45 min the previous day and I calmed down a bit, a little bit.  However, I was still so nervous that I twitter my thumbs and can hardly concentrate on anything!  Finally, after 20 minutes I get e-mails for both accounts and choose one (PotionSparks109) as my user idea.  Success!  All is right with the world.

After all the nerves and anxiety it is time to celebrate!  I jump up and down, squeal like a little girl, and wander around the house like a lunatic!  I grabbed some chocolate and started eating in a type of HP sugar high!  There is no better high.  Did I mention this only happened 90 minutes ago…?

Yes, I am obsessive.

Yes, I love Harry Potter.

Yes, I do sometimes under-exaggerate just how much I love it.

Therefore, why not?  This is my secret pleasure: I love Harry Potter more than words could ever express and I honestly don’t know what would have happened if I’d grown up without it.

Kiwi Conduct: Part I

As you may have noticed from my previous posts I’m currently in New Zealand.  Things here aren’t too different to make you completely and utterly confused, but there are many cultural differences.

First off, I’m from the West Coast.  On the West Coast whenever you walk by someone you generally say hello and/or smile at them as a pleasant greeting and then continue on your way.  Kiwi’s don’t do that!  Yes, they are, in general, much nicer than Americans but they’re also reserved.  To even smile at someone, especially if you’re a girl, means something completely different.  It’s almost like a come-hither.

Therefore, I have to put away my pleasant smile for a more grumpy kind of look – it’s way less approachable.   However, it waves off all of those unwanted approaches you get from random people on the street.

The second comment I have on Kiwi conduct is actually more about Kiwi fashion.

What’s in: boots, leggings/ tights, and the color black!  Seriously, everywhere I look all I see is black.  We are in winter so black is generally more common but it’s a bit ridiculous in Wellington. Kiwi’s wear black tights with black shoes, a black skirt, a black shirt, a black coat, and a black scarf.  So much black.  And if it’s not black it’s red!

I’m a girl who loves a ton of color in her wardrobe so this all black thing is slightly bothering – I don’t want to blatantly stick out as an American.  O’well, it’s just the kiwi lifestyle.

 

Secret Pleasures # 20: The Hongi

Americans tend to like their personal bubble; no one ever gets too close.  Our handshakes, themselves, force people to stay at least arms length away.  Therefore, when I came to New Zealand and entered a marae (a Maori sacred place) I was a little off put with doing a hongi.

A hongi is a traditional Maori greeting where you place the nose and forehead together.  The basic idea is that you are sharing the same breath of life.  Once done you aren’t a visitor anymore: you are apart (though usually temporarily) of the tribe.

 

The submersion into Maori culture was, least I say it, breathtaking.  I probably did the hongi nearly 50 times within 24 hours and while a bit awkward I feel like you are immersed and warmly welcomed into the tribe. So, say farwell to American reservations and haphephobia and hello to New Zealand’s warm and relaxed culture.  I think I might finally become a touchy-feely person.

My Secret Pleasure: Being immersed and feeling connected to a culture.

Secret Pleasures #18: Kpop and Kdrama

Let’s just begin with the statement that Korean culture is pretty damn cool.  At least the South Korean culture.  Most specifically I love kpop and kdrama.

Do you like wild, crazy, and cutesy?  This is the epitome of Kpop: Korean Popular music.  It’s colorful and catchy.  *If you need a quick overview of Kpop check out eatyourkimchi.com*

Plus, if you’re attracted to Koreans (or Asians in general) Kpop collects the most attractive singers.  They usually sing in large groups so you’ve got your options for looks and personality.

If you’re intimidated by foreign languages, don’t worry too much.  Kpop loves to insert english lyrics into really random places within a song.

Also, do you remember all those great 90′s boy band dances?  Everyone was super unified and perfectly in time.  Well, Kpop dances are like that but to the extreme!  Watch this music video and then the stage performance of Bbiribbom Bberibbom by Co-ed.

I don’t know very much Korean but you can bet I’ve got Kpop songs stuck in my head.

Korean dramas are pretty much exactly like soap operas or telenovelas.  It’s super sappy and the story line is pretty unrealistic.  However, this also means they’re incredibly addicting; everyone loves drama.

Here are some general guidelines for designing a kdrama:

1. Arranged marriage

2. Overbearing father (Korea is a patriarchal society which can be pretty frustrating if you’re as pro-women rights as I am)

3. Controlling grandmother

4. Cross dressing or mistaking a women as a man

5. Inheriting gobs of money (but most of the time you can’t access it unless you get married)

6. Discovering you’re really from a royal family

7.  And the most common:  love triangles or love squares or love pentagons … it goes on and on

One of the Kdramas I recently watched is called Creating Destiny.  Overall it was mediocre, but the thing I loved most was that the Korean lead actress spoke far better English than the ‘American.’  The producers were pretty detailed about everything except that – it was pretty funny.

In general, Korean popular culture is amusing and addicting!  It’s colorful, dramatic, and full of attractive actors/singers.

My Secret Pleasure: Korea! and their wacky pop culture.

Secret Pleasures #17: Identical Twins

Monozygotic twins! Two people with exact same DNA but definitely not the same personality.  When I was little I dreamed of being a twin.  Seriously, how much more egotistical could I be?  I wanted a second me!  Granted we would probably end up killing each other in a fight of stubbornness but it would still be awesome up until our deaths.

 

Identical twins are fascinating and fantastical for several other reasons:

1) Perfection.  People love symmetry and identical twins are the most accurate example of human perfection.   When twins stand side by side (perhaps in matching clothing) aren’t you at least a little bit in awe; it’s a natural phenomenon that shouldn’t exist.  Every organism is supposed to be unique, but twins are nearly exactly the same.  As a biologist I can only say, “wow!”

Even if there was only one I'd still think it was perfection. Mmm.

2) Pyschology and Medical Studies.  Identical twins are the perfect test subjects because despite having identical DNA they do develop differently.  Psychological studies show that one twin may become bipolar while the other is not; this means that the bipolar disease is both a result of genetic and environmental factors.  Similarly, one twin may get cancer and die at 30 while the other lives to be 100.  Identical twins have greatly improved our understanding of genetics and behavior.

3) Telepathy. Imagine you’re held hostage by a murderous drug dealer in an abandoned warehouse without even a tiny chance to escape – what would you do?  Normal people would probably just die, BUT not twins.  All they’ve got to do is conjure up a little twin mojo and boom your twin alerts the police, leads them to the warehouse, and saves your life.  It seems so simple.  On a less extravagant note, isn’t the idea of sensing someone’s emotions interesting?  We use like 9% of our brains but what if twins use a tiny bit more; the extra brain power lets them communicate with each other.

Telapathy should have been their mutant power.

4) Sexual Fantasy.  Umm…do I really need to write more?  Twice the pleasure.

I now must rant about my favorite fictional set of twins: Fred and George Weasley.  JK Rowling, how could you!?!  How could you kill off only one of the twins?  Fred and George had such a close bond that killing just one is brutal; in fact, I believe it to be the cruelest thing imaginable.  Whether fictional or real, I believe that the bond between twins is sacred (this could be my deluded fantasy) and should not be broken.  I think that Rowling should have had both die or both survive.  Besides the God-awful epilogue, this is the worst flaw of the Harry Potter books.

Together forever.

All and all, identical twins are a wonderful anomaly.  They’re useful to the realm of science and are generally cool to look at.  I know that my obsession with them will never end because the ideal of having two things instead of one is great.

My secret pleasure: finding the ultimate perfection in humans and a dash of super powers (aka telepathy)

Secret Pleasures #16: Unicorns

Yes, little girls may love them but that doesn’t make them any less cool.  Face it, unicorns kinda kick ass.

They’re been around for centuries as both the commonly recognized horned horse but also as part dragon, ass, lion, and etc.  And, no matter the culture unicorns are seen as a positive omen.  They represent luck, prosperity, chastity, and human compassion.  They, or some close derivative of, are in all the main religions; for example, it was the first “animal” God created for Adam and Eve (Christianity) and appeared to Buddha’s mother before his birth (Buddhism).  Their symbolism is almost endless.

Least us not forget the phallic symbols, too

Use your imagination

 

 

A unicorn’s horn is commonly portrayed as a thing of great wanting.  Sometimes it’s only for boasting rights but it is also believed to have great healing and magical abilities.  The saddest stories are those in which cutting off the horn kills the unicorn.  Similarly in Harry Potter, drinking a unicorn’s blood brings prosperity at the cost of the unicorn’s life.

Unicorns are just great icons.  Some people associate them with homosexuality and that is a compliment.  Think back to what unicorns stand for: luck, prosperity, chastity, and human compassion; wouldn’t you want to be associated with those great things?  (Personally, I think of the narwhal as the symbol for homosexuality before a unicorn.)

Also, there is The Unicorns the Band (now known as The Islands) with the song I Was Born a Unicorn. Pure greatness.

As a side note, the first time I watched Lord of the Rings: The Twin Towers and Gandalf came riding in on Shadowfax I thought Shadowfax was a unicorn.  The excitement (and confusion) ran through me like a fat kid with cake.  Wouldn’t it be possible for unicorns to live in Middle Earth?  Sadly not…or at least Shadowfax wasn’t one.  However, whether intentional or not, when Gandalf is atop Shadowfax and holding his staff the staff looks like a horn.

 

You get the idea.

In summary, unicorn’s aren’t just for little girls.  Yes, little girls may love them just as much as you (I, myself, used to have several unicorn posters despite that I hate horses), but aside from their My Little Pony and Barbie social stigmas, they rock.  They’re powerful creatures in board/roll playing games, are in the bible – the BIBLE! and they’re beautiful.

 

My Secret Pleasure: Mystical creatures with awesome powers.

 

Secret Pleasures #15: Youropenbook

Do you enjoy occasionally browsing incredibly stupid and trashy people?  Then youropenbook.org might be for you.

Here’s the deal.  Youropenbook allows you to search through thousands of Facebook statuses.  It’s completely legal because unless your privacy settings are set high, anything you put online is public content.

I first heard about youropenbook from an article on NPR where they searched ‘new phone number’ and actually called some of the numbers they found in statuses.  The interviewee’s shock was completely hilarious.  So, of course the next time I was with a friend we did the exact same thing and started texting some random guy from the east coast about how ninja’s were attacking.

Most of the time the people that come up are trashy.  It’s a lot of girls in glittery, slutty clothing or guys flexing their muscles.  But, occasionally you get the sweet mom who you can only sigh disappointingly towards.  However, the creepiest thing is to a see a picture of a kid and the status is perverse or referencing drugs.  It really makes you fear for society.

Some of my favorite searches include: preggo, whore, gangsta, and emoticons.  Here are a few sample status I literally found in the last ten minutes.  I care about people’s privacy (even if they don’t) and have removed their names.

“Y do women think bcuz they r preggo, that the man cnnt leave u 4 another female. A man is gonna do wat they wanna do. U cnt control a man! 1st off, they r not men they r boys. It takes a boy 2 make a baby, but a man 2 raise 1. So women wake up and smell the coffee and dnt be so stuck on stupid till the point ur the one hurt in the long run. @ the end of the day, its all about u & ur child.”     - I think someone has a little bit of pent up anger

“your a douche,shes a slut, please dont catch std’s. :}}”      –    such good advise from such a trashy person

“Thing i dont like…myspace, skimpy people, liars, cheats, when poeple say Really?, arabs, gilbert godfree, carrot top, yo gabba gabba, and stupid fucking people”   -  They sounds angry and raciest; they’re the stupid person.

People say the stupidest things, especially on Facebook.  I’m just glad there’s a website that allows me to get a good laugh at them.

My Secret Pleasure: snooping on all the gross people on Facebook.

Check out other facebook related posts here: Profile Pic ADD, Facebook Ads, and Facebook Birthdays.